Things that are useless

There are lots of useless things around at the moment. Here are just a few.

Paper straws

Who’d have thought that putting paper into liquid would make it soggy and useless? Everyone except McDonalds. I get the idea of using less plastic so it’s time to come up with something new. But PAPER straws. Not a great idea.

Easter egg packaging

Everyone goes rightly mad about cutting down waste created by too much packaging. Except at Easter, where it seems to be ok because it protects the chocolate. I’ve never seen so much plastic and cardboard. Let’s see if it’s different this year…

Some hand dryers

Hand dryers are miles better than paper towels, etc. But they actually need to blow out actual hot air. Lots these days are useless.

Amber traffic lights

What is the amber light for?

AMBER means ‘Stop’ at the stop line. You may go on only if the AMBER appears after you have crossed the stop line or are so close to it that to pull up might cause an accident

So actually, what’s the point in it? Everyone I know speeds up to beat the amber, or uses it as a way to pull away and get away as fast as possible. Why don’t we just go to green and red?

Cake pops

A tiny cake on a stick. Sure they look tasty. But what’s the point?

Those sauce pots at McDonalds

One is never enough. So you always need two. Just make them bigger! Although I’ve heard about this trick.

Rulers that aren’t see through

The teacher in me says that opaque rules are useless. Rulers need to be see through to measure, underline and draw accurately.

Bottled water

Full frame of still water bottles in rows

I am getting on board with this whole cutting down waste thing. Buying plastic bottles just feels wasteful these days. I now use a water bottle and try to keep that with me.


What is the point in selling these any more? We either watch it on Sky or stream absolutely everything these days. Digital is the way. It’s time to ditch your DVDs (and Blu-Rays).

Bad driving

Don’t drive like a dick and remember these rules!

Say thank you – I don’t care if you wave, raise a finger from the steering wheel, smile, nod, flash your lights or whatever. Just say thank you. It’s basic good manners. Doing nothing makes me hate you.

Don’t dither – If the roundabout is clear, or if nothing is coming along at the junction, just go. Don’t hang around. We will hate you if you do.

Use your indicators – Don’t be a dick. Just use your indicators and especially at roundabouts!!

Park properly – Make sure you’re in the middle of the parking space. And if your car isn’t in the centre, reverse and have another go.

Pay at the pump – If you use a pay at the pump pump, then pay at the pump. And if fail to do that and you go into the shop, don’t make eye contact or you’ll get the death stare.

Keep to the speed limit – I have slowed down in my driving over the years – I don’t speed any more. But not I get annoyed by people who drive below the speed limit when it is perfectly safe to do so. 40 is 40 so don’t trundle at five miles an hour below.

Use the correct lane on the motorway – Move to the left lane whenever it is clear. Don’t be one of those muppets who gets into the right hand lane and just stays there. Move left! (And, on a similar note, do not undertake – that makes you a complete tosser.)

Sit in traffic – We all hate sitting in traffic. But just because you’re a dick it don’t make us hate you more by razzing past traffic on a red light or on a bend or something stupid just to cut the queue. Also, don’t block exits as that just gets on everyone’s nerves.

What are your driving hates?